Pastor was Moved in Mysterious Ways

Dead Reverend's Rubber Fetish
Autopsy: Pastor found in wet suits after autoerotic mishap


OCTOBER 8--An Alabama minister who died in June of "accidental mechanical asphyxia" was found hogtied and wearing two complete wet suits, including a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, and a head mask, according to an autopsy report.

Investigators determined that Rev. Gary Aldridge's death was not caused by foul play and that the 51-year-old pastor of Montgomery's Thorington Road Baptist Church was alone in his home at the time he died (while apparently in the midst of some autoerotic undertaking). While the Montgomery Advertiser, which first obtained the autopsy records, reported on Aldridge's two wet suits, the family newspaper chose not to mention what police discovered inside the minister's rubber briefs.

(from the coroner's report): "The decedent is clothes in a diving wet suit, a face mask which has a single vet for breathing, a rubberized head mask having an opening for the mouth and eyes, a second rubberized suit with suspenders, rubberized male underwear, hands and feet have diving gloves and slippers. There are numerous straps and cords restraining the decedent. There is a leather belt about the midriff. There is a series of ligatures extending from the hands and feet. The hands are bound behind the back. The feet are ties to the hands. There are nylon ligatures holding these in place with leather straps about the wrists and ankles. There are plastic cords also tied about the hands and feet with a single plastic cord extending up to the head and surrounding the lower neck. There is a dildo in the anus covered with a condom. "

Aldridge served as the church's pastor for 16 years.

Immediately following his death, church officials issued a press release asking community members to "please refrain from speculation" about what led to Aldridge's demise, adding that, "we will begin the healing process under the strong arm of our Savior, Jesus Christ."*

A few points:
1. Regarding, "Investigators determined that Rev. Gary Aldridge's death was not caused by foul play" --Death by autoerotic asphyxiation is, by definition, foul play.

2. It seems obvious that someone else was present at some point during this foul play.

3. This other person will not be sought for comment, because the church does not want to know what he or she has to say. Instead, they will defer to their default position of prayer and an injunction that The Lord their God moves in mysterious ways. As do some pastors.

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*http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1008072scuba1.html

Pastor was Moved in Mysterious Ways

God Continues His Preacher Killing Spree

http://www.wsmv.com/news/15642032/detail.html
A preacher, killed by a goat. that's right. Although, in the text of the story, we learn that probably the 40 pound, normally docile goat could not have killed this big strapping man. More likely, the guy had a heart attack after he got tangled in the rope and fell. But they killed the goat, just to be sure. So....god is not above sending a goat to do an assassin's job.

Pastor's six family members killed by accident in Kerala
http://salemvoice.org/svmnews286.html
Can anyone say "The Book of Job"?

From http://www.safeatchurch.com/examples.asp :

Gunman Kills Seven, and Himself, In Texas Church
At the "Living Church of God in Milwaukee... a gunman shoots "the pastor, pastor’s sons, and five other church members before killing himself."

"Richard Dearsmith, 39, was killed by police in the bathroom of St. Mary’s Catholic Cathedral in Colorado Springs on Sunday, January 14, 1996. Dearsmith was delusional and mentally ill, claiming that he was Jesus Christ." [See, that's how it starts. First with the delusion of the existence of a supernatural being, and then you think you ARE a supernatural being].

At the First Baptist CHurch in Conway, MO, Rev. Strauch, was stabbed him in the abdomen, leg, and hand.

In Atlanta, Georgia a woman shot Rev. Johnny Clyde Reynolds, and her own mother after Sunday school and before service began. [I guess she didn't like the message.]

Sixteen members of Gustaf Lutheran Church were poisoned by arsenic-laced coffee they drank after service. [I guess someone didn't like that message, either.]

A man shot and killed Pastor Marvin Valentine, at the First Church of the Nazarene in Sarcoxie, MO.

Rev. Teclezghi Ucbaghiorghis of Our Lady of Fatima Monastery in Maryland was killed in a two-vehicle collision on Route 13.


According to a new poll, Americans are becoming less Christian. I guess so, since it's apparently dangerous to be one.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/wayoflife/03/09/us.religion.less.christian/
http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/2009-03-09-ARIS-faith-survey_N.htm

God Continues His Preacher Killing Spree

God Still Kills His Own

Consider this gem.

Texas preacher killed by baptism

A pastor was electrocuted during a baptism in Waco, Texas, after grabbing a microphone while partially submerged. [Another candidate for the Darwin Award]

Rev Kyle Lake, 33, was standing in a small pool used for baptisms at the University Baptist Church when he was electrocuted on Sunday morning. [If god is willing to send his own son into a horrible death by crucifixion, why would he care about some preacher from Waco?]

Rev Lake reached out to adjust a nearby microphone, which produced an electric shock, said church pastor Ben Dudley. [Dudley was also thinking, Sweet Christ, that could have been me.]

Rev Lake, who had a wife and three children, had been at the church for nine years. [He became an authority on advising people about their mortal souls at the age of 24?]

Confusion

He was taken by ambulance to a local medical centre where he was pronounced dead. [Jeez, I hope he was baptized].

The woman being baptised apparently had not stepped into the water, Mr Dudley told the Waco Tribune-Herald. She was taken to the hospital as a precaution, but was not seriously injured, he said. [I'm willing to bet she might reconsider the act of baptism...unless of course she is devout. Then, naturally, she'll do anything in the name of god.]

"At first, there was definitely confusion just because everyone was trying to figure out what was going on," Mr Dudley said. "Everyone just immediately started praying." [Yeah, good idea. When someone is being electrocuted, drop everything and start praying. That ought to give him the help he needs].

At a remembrance attended by about 1,000 people on Sunday night, Mr Dudley said the congregation would move forward as a church. [yes, as a church who witnessed god killing their preacher. Wonder who will step forward to take his place, considering god's distaste for this church and its preachers?]

"I don't know how, when, why, where or what's going to happen, but we will continue as a church in the community because that is what Kyle would have wanted," he said. [I daresay what Kyle would have wanted, was to NOT be electrocuted].

If I believed in god, I would have to say this was one of his "signs"--but WHICH ONE?
was it:
(a) Don't do any more baptisms
(b) This is a preacher in whom I am NOT well-pleased.
(c) The Lord moves in mysterious ways
(d) god needed help up in heaven, that only THIS preacher could provide, because you know, an Omnipotent being will always need help.

Once again, god kills indiscriminately, even while his adherents are doing what they think He wants. Or maybe (here's an idea) it had nothing do do with god, and everything to do with the interaction of electrical mechanisms and WATER.

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source: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4394722.stm

God Still Kills His Own