The Great Fib

excerpt from 

Supernatural Hypocrisy: 

The Cognitive Dissonance of a God Cosmology

Volume 3: Cosmology of the Bible

 by

Kelli Jae Baeli

The Great Fib

There’s a huge hole in the whole Flood drama, because anything that could float or swim got away scot-free, and it was the idea to wipe out everything, He didn’t say, "I will kill everything, except the floating ones and the swimming ones, who will get out due to a loophole. ~ Eddie Izzard

The story of the flood is a familiar to most people. A man is instructed by God to build a large boat to save himself and his family, along with the male and female of each animal species. God then sends a great flood, and all are drowned except for the occupants of the vessel.

Am I speaking of Noah and the Ark? Yes. But also of The Epic of Gilgamesh, and The Egyptian Book of the Divine Cow. (I kid you not.) From texts discovered in the tombs of pharaohs, we learn of a tale about the people turning bad and the sun god who had to kill them all and start civilization over. The Divine Cow was a transformation from the Goddess Nut. (I promise you, I’m not making this up. But someone did, and that’s the point here).

The Biblical motifs of the Fall and the Flood suggest a rupture, a necessary loss of "eternity", forcing mankind to return to the original state of perfection through history. In the Judeo-Christian tradition, this cleavage between man and God ensued when the former ate from the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge (between good and evil). So history starts when, stripped naked, man, in blood, sweat & tears, has to work for his living. But this is not enough. Divine wrath floods humanity, leaving only a small percentage alife (cf. Noah). The literary parallels are obvious (cf. infra).[1]

The Gilgamesh story was itself a borrowed tale of Sumerian origin. Both these ancient stories were combined and altered to produce the Biblical flood story. The Gilgamesh epic was written on 12 clay tablets in cuneiform script, and dating to between 2750 and 2500 BCE—long before the story of Noah was to have taken place. In fact, The Epic of Gilgamesh is thought by ancient historians to be the oldest written story ever found.

Most Christians view the flood story as unique to Christianity, but it is, in fact, a copy of the two other stories, tweaked to fit the needs of the Christian religion. There are obvious similarities that cannot escape the attention of anyone capable of employing reason. For example, In the Biblical account, we see:

Make for yourself an ark of gopher wood; you shall make the ark with rooms, and shall cover it inside and out with pitch. This is how you shall make it: the length of the ark three hundred cubits, its breadth fifty cubits, and its height thirty cubits. You shall make a window for the ark, and finish it to a cubit from the top; and set the door of the ark in the side of it; you shall make it with lower, second, and third decks. Behold, I, even I am bringing the flood of water upon the earth, to destroy all flesh in which is the breath of life, from under heaven; everything that is on the earth shall perish. “But I will establish My covenant with you; and you shall enter the ark—you and your sons and your wife, and your sons’ wives with you. “And of every living thing of all flesh, you shall bring two of every kind into the ark, to keep them alive with you; they shall be male and female. “Of the birds after their kind, and of the animals after their kind, of every creeping thing of the ground after its kind, two of every kind will come to you to keep them alive. “As for you, take for yourself some of all food which is edible, and gather it to yourself; and it shall be for food for you and for them.” Thus Noah did; according to all that God had commanded him, so he did. (GEN 6:14-22).

In the Epic of Gilgamesh, we see:

Tear down the house and build a boat!
Abandon wealth and seek living beings!
Spurn possessions and keep alive living beings!
Make all living beings go up into the boat. The boat which you are to build, its dimensions must measure equal to each other: its length must correspond to its width. Roof it over like the Apsu. I understood and spoke to my lord, Ea: 'My lord, thus is the command which you have uttered I will heed and will do it. (Tablet XI)

The Gilgamesh author also used the measurement of cubits[2] as did the Biblical story of the flood.

The child carried the pitch, the weak brought whatever else was needed. On the fifth day I laid out her exterior. It was a field in area, its walls were each 10 times 12 cubits in height, the sides of its top were of equal length, 10 times It cubits each. (Tablet XI)

Both stories also tell of the boat mooring or being stuck on a mountain. In the Bible, it was Mountains of Ararat, in Gilgamesh, it was Mount Nimush.

And just as the biblical story, a bird was sent out to seek land, and finally land was located, and the animals of the ark were released. In the biblical account, it says,

...and he sent out a raven, and it flew here and there until the water was dried up from the earth. Then he sent out a dove from him, to see if the water was abated from the face of the land; but the dove found no resting place for the sole of her foot, so she returned to him into the ark, for the water was on the surface of all the earth. Then he put out his hand and took her, and brought her into the ark to himself. So he waited yet another seven days; and again he sent out the dove from the ark. The dove came to him toward evening, and behold, in her beak was a freshly picked olive leaf. So Noah knew that the water was abated from the earth. Then he waited yet another seven days, and sent out the dove; but she did not return to him again. (8:7-12)

Notice the similarities in the Gilgamesh version:

I sent forth a dove and released it. The dove went off, but came back to me; no perch was visible so it circled back to me. I sent forth a swallow and released it. The swallow went off, but came back to me; no perch was visible so it circled back to me. I sent forth a raven and released it. The raven went off, and saw the waters slither back. It eats, it scratches, it bobs, but does not circle back to me. Then I sent out everything in all directions and sacrificed [a sheep].(Tablet XI)

Now, according to reason, it becomes plain that the flood stories are myth, based solely on this information, and common sense. The truth is even more illuminated by the obvious flaws.

Historically, the Tigris and Euphrates rivers did overflow and cause great damage, but nothing as severe as the biblical account relates. The only river in the region that could have been involved was the Jordan, but it was below sea level. There are no historical records, nor archeological nor geological evidence that show a flood of this magnitude in the region.

Aside from the obvious widespread killing of everyone who wasn’t on the ark, including children and animals who could not logically be regarded as “evil”—there are the usual problems.

Regarding the logistics of Noah and the Ark, first, the size of the Ark would have resulted in the boat breaking in half under the force of the first wave it encountered; modern ship builders know this for certain. They also know that Noah could not have constructed this Ark in the amount of time allotted.

The animals that Noah allegedly loaded onto the Ark (using both versions of that information found in two different places in Genesis) would not only be too numerous to fit, as our modern science tells us that 99% of the world’s species are now extinct, and it’s obvious that even if the Ark were built and loaded today, they wouldn’t fit; so why would they fit then, when there were millions. Remember there was only “one” creation, according to the bible. This, even though the fossil record shows us that there were many rebirths of new species when others were wiped out (remember the dinosaurs?). The fossil record also shows us that modern species began later—that’s why they are called modern. To hear the theists tell it, all the animals, of all kinds were created by God, during the Original Creation of the world. That’s easily explained, of course, by the facts of evolution; which theists insist isn’t accurate.

Back to the Ark: Also, there would be no room to store water and food for them, and no way the small group of people on board could care for them and clean up after them. Not to mention that it would collapse from the weight and sink. Then there’s the fact that all animals weren’t indigenous to the area in which Noah lived, yet there is no mention of a “road trip” to herd all those animals to the Ark. Additionally, if one only has a male and female of each species, this would create mutants due to inbreeding.

And what about this verse?

“…taking some of all the clean animals and clean birds, he sacrificed burnt offerings on it. The LORD smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: "Never again will I curse the ground because of man, even though every inclination of his heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done” (GEN 8:20-21)

Noah took “some of all” of the animals, which would mean there were some who couldn’t “be fruitful and multiply” because, as we know, Noah loaded the Ark with one male and one female of each kind. That would leave some without a mate. Those species must have just died out. Maybe that’s what happened to the dinosaurs, eh?

Also, the most glaring error of all: why did the animals have to be saved in the first place? Since God is omnipotent, why couldn’t he just re-create them all after the flood waters receded?

Other details in the flood story don’t add up, either. God places a rainbow in the sky to remind himself of the event—though why a Omni-everything being would need a atmospheric Post-it Note is beyond me.

There’s also the obvious belief by the author of the Book of Genesis that the Earth was flat, and there was only water above the dome of sky and below the ground. Again, if God created all these things, and then inspired men to write about them, would he not correct such a profound inaccuracy?

And what about the depth of the water as told in Genesis 7:19-20? “The water prevailed more and more upon the earth, so that all the high mountains everywhere under the heavens were covered. The water prevailed fifteen cubits higher, and the mountains were covered.” If we figure a cubit as on the average being 19 inches, that would mean the water level reached around 24 feet. Obviously not enough to cover all those mountains, even the smallest of the small. It’s another case of making a mountain out of a molehill; common in the Christian religion.

------------------------------------

[1] See van den Dungen.

[2] A cubit was an ancient unit of length, equal to the distance from the elbow to the tip of the middle finger, approximately 43-56 cm (17-22 in) [14th century. Latin cubitum "elbow, forearm" (Encarta Dictionary).

The Great Fib

Mind-Bending Esoterica

 Open Letter to Spiritual Person Regarding Belief in Supernatural

based on several posts on Facebook to my Wall. 

First,  this subject matter does not lend itself to a sound-byte. That's why science is often wrongly interpreted as unable to respond to wild claims from believers in the supernatural. Complicated things require complicated explanations. 

Second, this content is not directed at you, CMorte, exclusively. I will be speaking both toward your comments, and toward the spiritual community at large.

Third, yes I was a little harsh.  I will try to keep my anger at bay long enough to explain why I react that way....this is where Political Correctness and progress intersect (if not with a simple fender-bender, then certainly with an eardrum-splitting crash). Political Correctness has discouraged us, as a society, from speaking the truth, for fear it might damage someone's fragile sensibilities.  Progress should never be impeded by a need to coddle adults who respond to the world as children. 

This leads to other things, the least of which is redefining the meaning of words, so that no one can communicate clearly anymore. 

I am working on my own book as well, (Supernatural Hypocrisy: The Cognitive Dissonance of a God Cosmology) and the more I have researched and learned THE FACTS, the more I have moved toward a certain intensity about how damaging and ridiculous this subject is. So yes, I get intense, because this type of worldview has caused and is causing great suffering and peril and death to us all. It's causing a great number of otherwise intelligent people to cling to a collection of atavistic concepts that have not, and never will serve humanity in any ultimately beneficial way. Any benefits that spirituality ostensibly provides to its adherents, can be found equally in the  worldview of philosophy and ethics, communities of other kinds, and so on. It's a myth that the only morality, hope, purpose and comfort to be found, resides only in the supernatural. And this supernatural belief paradigm endangers ME and those I love, and humanity in general. 

So yes, I take it personally, though not so long ago, I didn't. I thought "live and let live"--as long as it didn't infringe on my pursuit of happiness or my rights or my freedoms or my safety. Now, I take it personally, because it has been personalized and all those privately individual aspects are under siege. Now it DOES infringe on my pursuit of happiness, my freedoms and rights, and my safety. Now, we are seeing the results of people believing in the supernatural, and WANTING or NEEDING to believe in it, coupled with a technological society that allows them to act on it in a global way. It leads to the corruption of scientific principals, the twisting of facts to suit a more comfortable set of ideas in the believer. And that affects us ALL. 

But I guess Christians are the only ones allowed righteous anger; because they are the bedrock of belief in this country. All other beliefs seem to just spring from there. How often in the last decade, have Christians backed off the dogma and simply adopted the tenets that they liked best, dropping the rest? How often do we hear "I'm spiritual, but not religious"? This indicates not only that morality and goodness is inherent in people regardless of the presence of religion, but also the often lethargic evolution of a realization; a concept no longer making sense. It's  a rare individual who denies a prevailing and sanctioned lie with the severity of a guillotine. Mostly, the denial comes in incremental steps away from the doctrine, when a human brain is niggled constantly by cognitive dissonance. Thus, "spirituality" is one of those steps. It's still a belief in supernatural, just without the main supernatural component of a supreme deity at the helm.

 You said,

i am at a stand-still in my research because I am convinced now that we have the power within our minds to recreate a haunting based on our beliefs. i refuse to say that nothing or everything can be debunked but that if we believe we are being haunted evidence will back it up simply because the power of our minds is so powerful it can manifest our beliefs on film."

Yes i do have a strong mind. Not the point here. I asked for proof. You don't seem to have any. You just have assertions.

"the proof lies in the research of Dr. Bohm and his colleuges. they believed so strongly in the holographic universe theory that it seems to explain alot of our mind's capabilities"

If you're referring to Dr. David Bohm, the physicist--he interpreted quantum mechanics in his own way, but his theory of holographic universe was overall rejected, since his premises required connections that are subliminal and which violate the principles of special relativity. There is no real evidence of his theory, nor of the subquantum forces he includes in his postulate. If there ever is any evidence to support his claims, then science will find it, test it and it will then be accepted if proven to a high degree of certainty. Until then, it is not to be considered "proof" in the true definiation of the word.

But notice that Bohm was well known to be gullible and to entertain esoteric ideas with no basis in fact. Bohm carried a key around with him he believed Uri Geller bent, as if it were a holy relic. We now know exactly how this key-bending was done. Michael Shermer even demonstrated it on a video. So while Bohm might have been a brilliant mind, it didn't preclude him having some erroneous, illogical, and delusional ideas about other things, which again, were never proven to have any veracity whatsoever.

CMorte: "Paranormal is anything that can not be explained by science. parapsychology is anything that our minds have created that can not be cured by medication - my definitions"

Jae Baeli:"I am aware of the definitions of these words."

There are many things that haven't yet been explained by science, but they do not fall into the category of paranormal. Also, to say "anything our minds have created" is to give the subject a wide field. There are also many things our minds create that aren't explained fully, yet don't require medication. This type of vagueness is also a component of the communication problem between rationalists and spiritualists.

CMorte: "I was being a smart ass bout meds. In this realm nobody is an expert. As far as im concerned nobody knows anything"

Jae Baeli: "there are quite a few people who know quite a few things. I find that statement absurd....especially since you seem to be so convinced of your own beliefs...so which is it? you believe in everything? nothing? only in what YOU believe, but not in anything else? the tooth fairy? Leprechauns?"

CMorte: "scientifically none of that is proven but i like to lend credit to the believers. when some people believe so hard in something it is true to them. miracles happen or whatever that motivate them to believe harder. i think (and i'm not telling anybody else what to think) anything is possible...by nobody knows anything i was talking about the paranormal. i figured as a skeptic you would agree. i just got off work and was catching up and saw all this. i am sorry really i am. i didn't expect you to take it so personally. i just posted it on your wall because i didn't want to send it in a message."

Why do you "like to lend credit to the believers?" Why is that your goal? What purpose does that serve in your estimation? What you describe is a manifestation of delusion, created in the minds of those who are susceptible to magical ideas. The end result is that they "believe harder" and I contend this is a negative, not a positive, because it entrenches them even more deeply into delusion and denial, and perpetuates the deification of falsehood, and the dismissal of truth.

As a skeptic, I don't accept as fact things unproven--that much is true. That doesn't mean I don't believe in anything. I believe in quite a few things. Like education, honesty, self-awareness, truth, self-responsibility, friendship, love, learning, ethics, separation of church and state, etc....These beliefs don't affect my ability to recognize facts and truth. And they do not reportedly determine the fate of my soul, or exist under threat of suffering if i don't choose to embrace them. They are concepts that inform the quality of my daily life and my interactions with others. I have imposed a subjective value on these things, for those reasons. This is nothing like the tenets of faith and belief in supernatural, as these ideas are attached to the concepts of guilt, fear, suffering and death, springing, as they did, from monotheistic belief systems. So it follows that supernatural belief systems are insidious in their ability to usurp the thinking mind, and instead draw on the primitive reactions of the amygdala, where reason cannot get a foothold.

So when you say you are a skeptic, CMorte,  I have to point out that the data seems to indicate otherwise. You say you "don't believe in anything"--but that's not any truer for you than it is for me, as I pointed out above. This statement is contradicted by the things you write. And you are even writing a monstrous book about guiding people on "the other side"!! That implicitly states a belief in souls, afterlife, and all things supernatural (it also assumes facts not in evidence, which is YOUR BELIEF in something). When you speak of demons and goddesses and anything else supernatural, and you frame it in a context of having experienced phenomena like this, then you BELIEVE IT. The fact that you have labeled these things, means you think you know what the experiences actually were, and thus, they are real to you. This, while admitting to drug use during at least some of those experiences. It's easy to see why you would count those experiences as "real"--you were under the influence of something as strong as your own wishes and needs, namely, a drug. 

The significance of this becomes clear. It's not Astrophysics. We know that the drug katamine can induce a Near Death Experience in the brain, too. We also know that electrical impulses in the brain, when pinpointed and excited manually by a surgeon, can also produce other experiences of that sort. That doesn't mean it "happened" objectively, it only happened subjectively. This is not, however, indicative of truth. When people say "It's true because i saw it" or "It's real because I felt it" or "I know it in my heart"--they are misusing the terminology of true/real/know. True and meaningful are not the same in this context; nor is Knowing and believing. But the spiritual folks among us continue to try to blur the line, and combine belief with fact. It can't be done, unless you change the defintions.

Additionally, when you announce you have no beliefs, I wonder why that seems a badge of honor to you?  "no belief" would include love, honesty, ethics, conservation, charity, alternative fuels, voting, kindness, equal rights, etc--the word "anything" in this context is all inclusive, just like the word "nothing" which is "no thing." Believing "in nothing" doesn't make you an atheist. NOT believing in supernatural beings and realms is what makes you an atheist. You are not, by definition, an atheist. Semantics is an important issue, here. I can say that I believe in UFO's and

this would be a true statement because I know that UFO is an abbreviation for Unidentified Flying Object, and yes, there have been instances when an object was flying and it could not be identified. That doesn't mean I believe that they are spaceships, piloted by extraterrestrials. And it doesn't speak to my opinion on whether or not that might be possible. These are more examples of logical fallacy, and the variables inside these arguments are the catalyst for misunderstanding. Thus, you must understand what you are saying, and you must use the same dictionary everyone else has agreed to use. That's what a standardized dictionary is for.

Additionally, saying that you don't believe in anything means you can't make a logical decision based on facts; and that ought not be referenced as a source of pride, in my opinion. Then, in a heel-spin of contradiction, you speak of things as if they are true, when they are not. So perhaps you're not communicating yourself accurately. Is that it?  Or do you merely deceive yourself by saying you don't believe in anything? I contend that you do believe in many things (as all humans do), and it comes through repeatedly in everything you talk about. I'm not sure what compels you to deny participation in the act of owning what you believe. It requires no courage to stand aside and say you don't believe in anything. That's not being open-minded, that's refusing to take responsibility for your own ability to make decisions. I find that stance intellectually dishonest.

My issue with it is that belief should be predicated on truth. So I don't use it in the same context as it is used colloquially and theologically. And yes I do get intense about it, because it's high time the logical and rational among us stop allowing Believers to make all the rules and get all the free passes, while systematically destroying everything that would save us, the planet and honor our own evolution as sentient beings. It's no longer innocuous to be spiritual or religious. It now bleeds over into the lives of EVERYONE. Unfounded beliefs keep children from learning the science that will allow them to understand how life and the universe really operates; unfounded beliefs map young minds into knots of hatred, superstition and fear rather than in acceptance, discernment and clarity; unfounded beliefs cause people to neglect proven medical care for themselves or their children; unfounded beliefs cause people to kill each other, start wars, commit acts of torture, genocide, infanticide, hate crimes, cause oppression, starvation,  child abuse, rape; unfounded beliefs incite groups to intend and plan

takeovers of our secular government; unfounded beliefs cause someone in power to put their finger on a red button that will annihilate life as we know it. 

Damn right I get intense. 

I have a right to live, and THEY don't have the right to take it from me. 

Now you might think you are not in this category, but I contend you are only a step away, because all it takes is the willingness to accept ideas without proof, which you have already demonstrated repeatedly. So I'm sorry if my intensity offends you. But I'm pretty weary of biting my lip about it. As Frantz Fanon said, "There comes a time when silence becomes dishonesty." I have no desire to be guilty of either.

You said, "i am not trying to be offensive. i am not trying to argue."  This is the way spiritual people weasel out of the fray. They deny any malice, and say they don't want to argue. The reason is, if they engage in a rational argument, their beliefs and postulates will be shown false and even sometimes absurd, and this is not something they are open to. 

Now, I have been accused of being single-minded in my recent full conversion to atheism. And further, been accused of hypocrisy on some level, because I cannot be persuaded to believe again. But the point to be had here, is that I WAS A BELIEVER. I  said all those same things, clung to all those same ideas, and defended them to others, just as believers do now to me. So I have been on the "other side" in that regard (pun intended) and made a logical decision to deny its veracity, based on the development of my intelligence, and the evidence and clarity of thought and reason. So implications of my stubborn single-mindedness are unfounded. I came to conclusions based on facts, and now honor my conclusions, since there have been no other facts or evidence to change them.

You said,

"in fact, I was posting something personal to me that was mainly just some ideas. wasn't trying to get everyone riled up. i was just speaking to you as a friend not as a scientist or an expert."

So, if you speak casually, in a friend-kind-of-way, this excludes the necessity for truth? or rational thinking? or clarity of belief? If you are merely ruminating innocently, why work so hard on a book that is quite copious and detailed regarding supernatural forces and conditions in a plane of existence no one has proof for, and even you yourself haven't experienced in reality? I think what you are really doing is back-peddling in the face of a rational argument.

"in this realm evidence is anything that happens consistantly and with documented evidence. alot of this eye/camera/orb stuff can only be based on the ghost documentary shows i saw on tv. not saying it is real but it is "believeable" to me. i can't physically show you or else it wouldn't be paranormal. some things are consistant with the research tho and that is electromagnetic energy that when charged from a source lights up. and seems to be consistant with a haunting and the frequency of our chakras. that is all i have as far as evidence. sorry to have let you down today."

You mention "evidence" so glibly, it's clear you  don't understand the meaning of the word as I mean it, which is as science sees it. When I  speak of evidence, I refer to empirical, not anecdotal. I refer to the use of scientific method with falsifiability and double-blind procedures at play; not a photograph that "seems" to indicate something magical or out of the ordinary. You mention the "Frequency of chakras"--yet, again, you use another unprovable item to prove your other unprovable item. Chakras are an IDEA that became a cultural meme, but have no basis in fact.  Adherents imbue the idea with some supposed authority beyond the realm of science, but this also places it beyond the realm of fact and thus, of truth. But try to get a believer to understand this, and you'll be at it for eons. The irony with this sort of thought-paradigm is that if you don't know how to think things through properly and logically, you are unaware that you don't know how to think things through properly and logically. That's why the arguments go on between the rational and the irrational--between atheists and spiritual/religious individuals. The problem can only be solved by educating as many people as possible in the skills of rational thought.

At the risk of this eons-long head-butting, I will point out that you have repeatedly utilized logical fallacy, and in fact, used almost all of the most common ones:

• Tautology, or circular reasoning (A=B because A=B).
• Special Pleading, AKA ad hoc reasoning, (arbitrarily adding new elements in an effort to repair their lack of validity)
• Non-sequiter, (implying a logical connection where none exists)
• Moving the Goalpost (A method of denial that moves the criteria out of range of the evidence)
• post hoc ergo propter hoc (Latin for after this, therefore because of this; assuming a cause and effect relationship of things simply because one thing came before another), 
• Inconsistency --Applying criteria or rules to one belief, claim, argument, or position but not to others).
• God of the Gaps (which is merely explaining something mysterious by plugging in a supernatural explanation);  
• Confusing association with causation, (similar to post-hoc, except it's when two things happen in proximity of time or location, and are assumed to be related).
• Argument from Personal Incredulity, (lack of personal understanding is interpreted to mean it cannot be true)
• Argument from Authority, (stating a claim is true because a person or group perceived as an authority says so)
• Argument from Ignorance (a statement must be true because we don't know it isn't true)

Understand that in all the 200,000 years that humans have been on the earth, not once has there been empirical evidence of supernatural claims. Never. Not even enough to serve in a court of law under the "beyond a reasonable doubt" edict. This fact must give us pause. If something were indeed true, in all those millennia, wouldn't we have some shred of proof for it?

But humans are relentless in their need to depend on the supernatural to find their value in this life. Matthew Alper, author of The God Part of the Brain: A Scientific Interpretation of Human Spirituality and God, approaches this subject head-on, in what seems to be an emerging understanding among scientific circles about why humans are so staunchly attached to the ideas of the supernatural:

"Essentially, what I'm suggesting is that humans are innately "hard-wired" to perceive a spiritual reality. We are "hard-wired" to believe in forces that transcend the limitations of this, our physical reality. Most controversial of all, if what I'm suggesting is true, it would imply that God is not necessarily something that exists "out there," beyond and independent of us, but rather as the product of an inherited perception, the manifestation of an evolutionary adaptation that exists within the human brain. And why would our species have evolved such a seemingly abstract trait? -In order to enable us to deal with our species' unique and otherwise debilitating awareness of death.

With the dawn of human intelligence, for the first time in the history of terrestrial life, an organism could point its powers of perception back upon its own being; it could recognize its own self as an object. For the first time, when an animal kneeled down to drink from the watering hole, it recognized its own reflection. Only humans possess the advanced capacity for self-awareness. Though, in many ways, this capacity has helped to make our species the most versatile and powerful creature on earth, it also represents the source of our greatest affliction. This is because once we became aware of the fact that we exist, we became equally aware of not just the possibility that one day we might not, but the certainty that one day we will not. With the advent of our species, with the emergence of self-conscious awareness, a life form became cognizant of the fact that it is going to die. All we had to do was to look around us to see that death was inevitable and inescapable. More terrifying yet, death could befall us at anytime. Any moment can be our last.

All life is "hard-wired" to avoid those things that represent a threat to its existence. When an animal gets too close to fire, for example, it reflexively pulls away. It is this negative stimulus, this experience we call pain, that prompts all forms of life to avoid such potential life threats. Pain, therefore, acts as nature's electric prod that incites us to avoid those things which may jeopardize our existence.

In the "higher" animals, most particularly among the mammals, threatening circumstances elicit a particular type of pain we refer to as anxiety. Anxiety constitutes a type of pain meant to prompt these "higher" order animals to avoid potentially hazardous circumstances. For example, a rabbit is cornered by a mountain lion. In such a situation, the rabbit is pumped with adrenaline, charged with the painful symptoms of anxiety, all meant to incite the rabbit to most effectively escape from the source of its discomfort, in this case the mountain lion. In its healthiest form, anxiety is meant to prompt an animal to avoid or escape a potentially hazardous experience. In humans, however, once we became aware of the fact that death was not only inescapable but that it could come at any moment, we were left in a state of constant mortal peril, a state of unceasing anxiety - much like rabbits perpetually cornered by a mountain lion from which there is no escape. With the emergence of self-awareness, humans became the dysfunctional animal, rendered helpless by an inherent and unceasing anxiety disorder. Unless nature could somehow relieve us of this debilitating awareness of death, it's possible our species might have soon become extinct. It was suddenly critical that our animal be modified in some way that would allow us to maintain self-conscious awareness, while enabling us to deal with our unique awareness of our own mortalities, of death.

Here lies the origin of humankind's spiritual function, an evolutionary adaptation that compels our species to believe that though our physical bodies will one day perish, our "spirits" or "souls" will persist for all eternity. Only once our species was instilled with this inherent (mis)perception that there is something more "out there," that we are immortal beings, were we able to survive our debilitating awareness of death."

And that is a compelling argument about why people believe in the supernatural, and why logic and reason seem so out of reach for those who desperately need something outside of themselves to give them courage or purpose or hope. It is my fervent desire, to see the swelling of ranks in those who find these things inside themselves, instead.

Mind-Bending Esoterica

Jaime Kilstein (on Gays & God, mostly)

Jaime Kilstein (on Gays & God, mostly)

Cosmology of the Dark Side--Hell

Excerpted from

"Supernatural Hypocrisy: 

The Cognitive Dissonance of a God Cosmology"

Volume 4: The Cosmology of the Dark Side

by

Kelli Jae Baeli

Gnashing of Teeth

“God says do what you wish, but make the wrong choice and you will be tortured for eternity in hell. That's not free will. It's like a man telling his girlfriend, do what you wish, but if you choose to leave me, I will track you down and blow your brains out. When a man says this we call him a psychopath. When god says the same we call him "loving" and build churches in his honor.” ~William C. Easttom II

Hell. The most successful fear-tactic ever devised.

The most blatantly obvious flaw in the logic here, is that people will be sentenced to life in eternal pain and torment for behaving naturally. God created humans, then punished them for acting according to the natures HE ostensibly gave them.

The punishment of Hell, could not rationally be in place as a deterrent to sin, since an omniscient God would already know who and how many would be sinful and go to Hell. Since this number is in a sense pre-ordained, that number of people would be sentenced to Hell anyway, and thus, cannot act as a deterrent, since a deterrent acts to change something inherently changeable.

According to Christian dogma, those who don’t know God and accept Jesus as their personal savior, are doomed to spend eternity in torment. The obvious flaw here, is that there are many people who will never even have the opportunity to be exposed to the Christian religion. What of that? If a person is not privy to the information, how can they rightfully be condemned to a horrible eternal fate? Christians are quick to say that’s why they have ministries in the far reaches of Earth. This does not, however, address the original incongruity: God has put a system in place that is neither rational, fair, nor loving.

Any reasonably loving and sane person of good mental health, who has children, will tell you that they love their children in spite of the bad things they might do. Mistakes and even egregious errors will not delete the love a parent has for the child.

The main reason for this, skipping the biological details, is that the parent created this child and that’s a bond that endures. And we have so anthropomorphized God in that two-direction expressway of God creating us in His image, that we assume, perhaps without being aware of it, that God would behave toward us, much like we would behave toward our own children. Yet, we dismiss the absurdity and cruelty of this God when he threatens to send us to hell for something as negligible as a lack of faith in Him.

Parents, if your children, in a fit of pique, said they hated you, would you pour gasoline on your child and set him ablaze? Not unless you are one of those mentally deranged people we hear about periodically. So why is God any less deranged and cruel to do that to HIS children? The flaw in the logic here, is obvious.

The usual rebuttal from defending Christians is the “free will” refrain. But how is it free will to choose to love or worship a deity, when he’s holding a god-sized gun to your head? I have already refuted the free will defense, and I won't belabor the point here, other than to say coercion does not inspire trust, love, devotion or respect in me. I can’t speak for anyone else.

But this should, at the very least, make one question the existence of a Hell, or God, as a benevolent being, and even make you question the existence of God altogether.

 0

The First Spark

According to Christianity, eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions 
God's infinite love. That's the message we're brought up with, believe or die. 
"Thank you, forgiving Lord, for all those options."

~Bill Hicks

The belief in a terrifying underworld first began with the Egyptians, and their religious tome, The Egyptian Book of the Dead. This text delineates the ways in which the underworld is successfully traversed, to include the necessary spells and rituals. There were seven gates a soul had to pass through, before arriving for judgment in front of the King Osiris, which was the mythological equivalent to the Christian God.

By the 6^th Century BCE, the concept of Hell was embodied in the religion of Zoroastrianism, springing from the teaching of the prophet, Zoroaster. In this version, the dead were judged by walking across a paper-thin bridge called Shin Vah. The good souls passed over and the condemned ones fell into the fiery pit below.

This new characterization of God began during the Babylonian Exile, when the Israelites crossed paths with followers of the prophet, Zoraoaster, who lived circa 630-550 BCE. Zoraoaster’s adherents believe that time was divided into a current age of darkness and a future age of light, which would end in a final battle between good and evil, wherein the good would receive reward and the evil would be annihilated.

This eschatology soon became part of the Christian dogma, and appeared in apocalyptic writings such as that found in the Book of Daniel, 200 years before Jesus appeared. Though Daniel was said to have been written by the prophet of the same name 400 years preceding, it was instead written by an unknown author who told of disasters happening in his time. So Daniel was not a forecast, but a reporting of current events. This was just another way that Christian dogma borrowed and altered facts to its own devices.[1]

0

The Evil Landlord

After Hell was successfully embedded in the human consciousness, the concept evolved. Someone decided that if this underworld existed, it needed a landlord. And the landlord had to be evil.

If, as the Christians claim, God created the Universe and everything in it, then that would include Satan. The immediate question that arose for me was, if God’s answer to the unworthiness and evil of men was met with a giant flood that killed them all, then why didn’t he annihilate the Devil when he rebelled in Heaven?

According to Christian underpinnings of belief, Satan had this little slice of real estate called Hell in which to operate his business of tempting humans into his fold, in opposition to God. The Devil would reportedly take the form of a human female, have sex with unsuspecting men, possibly just for his own entertainment, and then transform again to a human male and have sex with a female, thus implanting the seed of Satan, and interbreeding with humanity. There have been reports of nuns being attacked by Satan—in the form of priests. No great mystery here; it didn’t occur to them until the modern age that maybe they were actually being raped by a priest.

Even so, the overwhelming suggestion was always that women must be careful not to tempt men into the act of forced sexual intercourse, as if this were a possibility. Thus, it was again the woman’s fault when a man misbehaved. Christianity used scapegoating as part of its dogma, whether this is admitted openly or not. I contend that at the very least, Satan, in this regard, was merely a representation of the belief that sex was inherently dirty, and maybe also that men can behave in ways that embody that evil.

Nonetheless, besides the females of our species, Satan is the ultimate scapegoat. Humanity seems to need this being to blame for their own transgressions. Again, this is part and parcel of individuals not taking responsibility for themselves and their actions.

Joseph Conrad said, “The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness.”

0

The backstory is that God created Satan as good, but Satan rebelled and became evil. There are immediately some issues with the nonsensical nature of the existence of such a being. Why would God—who is supposedly an omni-everything being—create something that had the capacity for becoming evil? Isn’t this a flaw in logic? If God is omniscient, then He knew Satan would turn bad. So, either God intended this to happen, or He didn’t care. This would make his creation process frivolous at least, and contradictory to His own nature at most. If God did NOT know Satan would turn evil, then God is not omniscient. Which renders Him ungodlike.
That aside, God did not destroy Satan when he went to the quintessential Dark Side. Why? Because he thought Satan could serve some greater purpose? And what purpose might that be, when we are talking about an omnipotent god who can make anything happen, without the aid of some rogue angel? It negates the supposed nature of God.

As with the biblical story of Job, Christians have been taught that God would not allow Satan to inflict more harm than one of his creations could handle. Logically, this contention would lead to the conclusion that Satan would not ever successfully recruit one of God’s humans. So, then, what’s the point of going through the motions, if God knows the outcome already. To merely inflict suffering on those beings he created? If there is that tired exception of free will, and in it, the possibility that a human will choose the sin over the obedience, then again, this deity will have shown himself manipulative of the very natures he ostensible instilled in humans to begin with.

0

The Satan myth infiltrated our literature, most commonly known in a Faustian way. Faust, a closet play[2] by Johann Von Goethe, is often touted as the greatest work in German literature. In it, a devil named Mephistopheles makes a wager with God that he can sway the studious human, Faust, one of God’s favorites, away from his righteous life. Faust then makes a deal with the Devil, apparently exercising that free will I spoke of. There are, of course, striking similarities with this and the Book of Job.

0

Lost Inferno Paradise

Throughout the ages, both art and literature has informed the modern beliefs about Hell and the afterlife. Satan was blended with the idea of Lucifer through various similarities in language found in the Bible, other religious texts, and in the works of John Milton and Dante Alighieri—Paradise Lost and Divine Comedy, respectively. It is from these literary works that many Christians derive their concepts of Satan, often without conscious awareness.

"So compelling is the character of Satan in Paradise Lost,” Neil Forsyth contends. “that generations of English speakers, knowing their Milton better than their Bible, have assumed that Christianity teaches an elaborate story about the fall of the angels after a war in heaven, and have been surprised to find no mention of Satan in the Book of GEN."[3] 

G.B. Caird echoes the sentiment: "The Bible knows nothing of the fall of Satan familiar to readers of Paradise Lost."[4]

In Paradise Lost, Milton manages to transform the personage of Satan as an egotistical warlord. One could say that Milton actually humanizes Satan. The Dark Prince and his minions are mirrors that Milton holds up to humans. Satan becomes, then, a metaphor for the darker natures of humankind.

I’ve heard some Christians explain the problem of evil in the world by saying that God is both: good and evil, and we are representations or manifestations of this in human form. With this line of reasoning, since Satan represents evil in Christendom, then God is Satan. This is a concept, while shocking to Christians, is nonetheless in alignment with the behaviors of the vengeful, petty, petulant and volatile deity found in the Bible. The god of the Bible kills, tortures and maims while the Devil stands aside, representing nothing as ominous as the god who represents his antithesis. It is perhaps one of the greater ironies that the Christian god is less worthy of worship than the being assigned as the ultimate dark force. So, perhaps this explanation that God is both evil and good, is represented in these two beings: Satan and God. Though, one could argue that if God represents the good, he certainly didn’t take any pains to embody the part.

0

The people of ancient times could not be profoundly more ignorant than modern people, yet a certain amount if ignorance was at play. Information and education was hard to come by, and there was no instant access to it via the Internet and mass media that we enjoy today. It is easy to understand how a certain amount of ignorance gave rise to superstition and mythology. However, there are still those among us who display their atavistic ignorance with jejune pride.

Here's an example of just how ignorant modern humans can be. If the spelling and misuse of terminology is not an indication, consider the shallow, regurgitated argument he offers:

(posted by malchus5)
 "Its no game

Heres a perspective, if the Supreme Being was playing with us ,so what are you going do about it ? If a Supreme Being created you He did it for His purpose.His purpose.God is Holy that means He can not tolerate any rebellion.Jesus said if you think it its rebellion.BUT He created a lupole. Someone to satify that holy reconpense.///////satan free will made him turn rebellious.(detail)God is good ,being all knowing their is a purpose/////////// I am sure this does not help you." [1]

Why no, malchus5, it doesn’t help me, because helping me would require the use of a brain. Where does he get the definition of “holy” as being a state where no rebellion is allowed?

Interestingly, Malchus was the name of a slave in biblical days, whose ear was lopped off by St. Peter. So you probably can’t hear me when I say: educate yourself!

Never mind the fact that a Saint goes around cutting off the ears of slave people. Maybe Malchus was reincarnated as Vincent Van Gogh.

But I digress.

The dictionary defines “holy” as:

1. specially recognized as or declared sacred by religious use or authority.

2. dedicated or devoted to the service of God, the church, or religion: a holy man.

3. saintly; godly; pious; devout.

4. having a spiritually pure quality: a holy love.

5. entitled to worship or veneration as or as if sacred: a holy relic.

6. religious.

7. inspiring fear, awe, or grave distress.

In definition number one, this would mean that God is holy only because he declared himself holy. In definition number two, this would mean that God was devoted to the service of himself. In number three, God would be compared to himself. In number four, we run into still another contradiction: God is of course, godly. So again,t he comparison can only be made to the thing being compared with. A logical fallacy of the worst order. In definition number five, we see the first chance for a sensical relationship between God and the word, Holy; God being worthy of worship or veneration because he is holy. In number six, we lose it again, because one cannot assign the god to the condition of being religious, since a religious person worships another being, and that would mean God would worship another being, more Holy, and more godlike, than himself. Or that he would worship himself. Which leads us to definition seven: inspiring fear, awe, or grave distress. Certainly, a case could be made for God being holy by the fact that he inspires all these things.

      So, the only definition that makes any sense, is that God is only holy because he inspires fear, awe or grave distress. And this is the god that Christians choose to worship. And they seem absurdly proud of this choice.

---

[1] History Channel.com. Oct 14, 2002. http://boards.historychannel.com/

---

[1] Sheehan, Thomas. “The First Coming: How the Kingdom of God Became Christianity.”

[2] Meaning, meant to be read, but not performed.

[3] Neil Forsyth, The Satanic Epic (Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2003) p. 66.

[4] G.B. Caird, The Revelation (London: A. & C. Black, 1984) p. 153.

[5] History Channel.com. Oct 14, 2002. http://boards.historychannel.com/

Cosmology of the Dark Side--Hell

Jael. In a Tent. With a Spike.

Excerpt from

Supernatural Hypocrisy: 

The Cognitive Dissonance of a God Cosmology

by

Kelli Jae Baeli

{website text in red, my comments in black}

During some research, came across this page. It's the most hateful, war-mongering, misogynistic, atavistic, hate-crime supporting, and sickening example of Christian brainwashing I've ever seen. And it's intended for kids.

This is the kind of guy who reads the Left Behind novels with demented glee.

KID'S BIBLE STORY--  Lesson prepared by: 

Steve Van Nattan:

Blessed Quietness Journal

JAEL--A LADY WHO USED WHAT SHE HAD IN HER HAND

…the same thing in her head and heart. Something sharp and deadly.
In the fourth chapter of Judges, in Jerusalem, near Mount Tabor, a military captain named Sisera stopped at the tent of woman named Jael, and hid in her tent after battle. She brought him something to drink, covered him with a blanket, and he laid down to rest. Soon, she crept into the tent and drove a tent peg through his temple and into the ground.

Cue the chorus of angels, as we give thanks to our blessed loving God.

Now, in the discussion of this story, aimed at children, mind you, the prick who wrote this page, is one Steve Van Nattan, who revealed his true nature, and illus-trated in disturbing fashion, how Christian zealots are corrupting young minds in the service of their hideous God.

 War is a thing God does not like.  People get killed, and that pleases Satan.

I laughed out loud to that one. If you've read any of the volumes in this book, you know that this is a blatant lie. There are plenty of examples of war-mongering on the part of God. But of course, Christians can always blame Satan for anything that might cause a stir with rational, compassionate people.

But, sometimes wicked men attack godly people, and God calls for His leaders to stand up and fight the enemy. God wants good godly men to defend their homes and God's saints. When evil men attack the homes or land of godly people, then it is necessary for the godly men to kill the wicked men if they will not go away. Wicked people have no rights.

And who gets to decide who is wicked? People like Steve Van Nutjob? Or any of the hundreds of other misled Christians who kill in God's name?

War today is not always fought for these reasons…so you should not join the military of any nation in the world today. Soon, all the soldiers of the world will give their strength to Satan's man, the Antichrist. Don't help this in any way, even though you will be taken to heaven before it actually happens.

And I'm sure there are plenty of God-loving Christians who will push the button to make that happen.

In the story of Barak and Jael, did you notice how timid Barak was. God intends for men to lead.  That was true with Abraham who went and rescued his backslidden nephew, Lot.  Men were strong leaders many years after Barak's day with Samuel, King Saul, King David, King Solomon, and all the kings of Judah.  David had 400 mighty men who were fearless in defending Israel and their families.  One of David's men jumped right down into a pit to kill a Lion on a snowy day in the winter.  Jehu defended Israel against Satanic witchcraft when he killed all the prophets of Baal.  Elijah killed 400 prophets of Baal with his own hands down by the river.  Elijah didn't ask someone else to do it. 

Killing, killing and more killing. This makes you righteous. See how this brainwashing thing is done? Align the young minds with a sense of duty to this ubiquitous God, and then arm them, and then tell them it's okay to do just about anything as long as they feel it's God's will.

It is also true that Jesus called men to defend their homes and the Church.  He called disciples, and he taught them to be strong men and defend the saints and their families.  Just before He went back to heaven, Jesus told His disciples to carry a sword to defend themselves against wicked men and bandits.  The Apostle Paul was a fearless man, and he trained young men to be spiritual soldiers and pull down Satan's strongholds.

Again, who decides how to define, how to defend, when to defend, and who to defend against? Who is wicked? What are Satan's strongholds?

I want to talk to all you boys:

If you are a boy, and you are born again, you will be called on by God, over and over in your life, to defend your home, your church, and even neighborhood people who are being attacked by Satan. That is YOUR job, and God expects you to stand up for righteousness immediately when evil pops up in front of you. Ask your Dad and Mom to help you find a man who helps people be delivered from devils so that you can hear how Jesus uses His strong men to help sinners.

No. Ask your mom and dad to take you to a secular psychologist and a deprogrammer, because you are the serial killers of the future. This reminds me of Jesus Camp. And by all means, tell these little boys to seek out adults who kill and maim and torture for God.

My son was in Walmart one day. He was in the computer section, and there was a very muscular young man standing nearby. A sodomite came into the computer section and started talking to the muscular boy. The sodomite asked him all sorts of ques-tions about how he did his body building exercises.  My son realized that the young man did not understand that the sodomite was "hustling" him, and my son was about to go over and stop it.

Well first of all, this nutball doesn't know his Bible like he thinks he does. As I've shown, sodomites were NOT homosexuals. This is a mistranslation, a perpetuated lie, and a convenient excuse to exercise the hatred that some Christians carry around inside themselves.

But the young body builder beat Dan to it.  The sodomite said to the muscular body builder, "Well, you sure are good looking."  My son said that the young man got a sud-den look of amazement on his face which immediately turned to rage.  Then, --POW--, the young man hit the sodomite so hard that the sodomite flew right straight back and landed in a heap on the floor.  Dan grinned at the Walmart clerk standing nearby, and everyone agreed that they had wanted to do the same to the sodomite.  Good godly Christian men are filled with joy when an evil person is stopped from doing more evil.  They do not stand around and whine about the "rights" of evil men.

Notice that punching someone in the mouth was the answer. Not, "I'm not gay, so buzz off." Violence was the solution, and JOY was the result. Joy, stemming from a self-imposed piety and righteousness based on lies, mistranslation and hatred.

You see, there are times, not often maybe, but times when we have to get violent enough to stop evil. 

See? Violence is okay if you're doing it for God. This is what the Bible teaches Christians, and this is what the adult Christians are training the children of the world to do. If one of those little boys reads this and sees a man he believes is gay, he is very likely to borrow his daddy's gun and shoot him in the head. But that would be okay, because he'd be killing a sodomite for God.

…We have too many wimps in the Lord's church. Don't be like Barak and ask a lady to go along and hold your hand when you should do God's work under His power alone.

Because if you aren't willing to commit violent acts, you are a wimp and you also run the risk of burning in Hell.

Now, I want you girls to pay attention:

I'm already cringing, aren't you?

I want you girls to consider that lady Jael.  Did she get a sword or gun to kill Sisera?  No. Ladies did not join the army in God's Israel. And, a lady has no business in the military today. Going to war is a man's job.  It is dirty work, and a Christian lady should NOT put herself in a dirty place. A real lady can do anything God calls her to do right at home. God brought Sisera to Jael's home. She fooled the rotten king, Sisera. She treated him real nice, and she tucked him in for a nice little nappy poo.

A nappy poo? The blatant glibness of this, in light of what is about to happen, is just sickening. And what is this, 1952? But then, that image is obliterated by the juxtaposition of the submissive homemaker, turning into Xena the Warrior Princess…it's like the Christian Stepford Wives.

Ah, but what a lady!  I sure do look forward to meeting her in heaven.

May I suggest you go look for her right now?
Isn't it funny how all these people who preach the Word, are so sure they're going to be in heaven? Jesus said that most of us won't make it to those pearly gates. The rest will burn in hell. But you know, there's only room for 144,000 of the Chosen (REV 7:3-8).  That's 12,000 from each Tribe of Israel. Are you a member of one of the Tribes of Israel, Mr. Christian-pastor-person? Don't forget to write the names "Jesus" and "God" on your forehead before you arrive (REV 14:1).  Remember to take your Sharpie marker. And you'll have to learn that new song, whatever it is, because you have never lied and are blameless (REV 14:3-5). Oh yeah, and 144,000 is also a significant cycle of time called baktun in the Mayan Calendar.* That's pagan, by the way.

You see, she stayed home and took care of the home

Which is where all women belong. And UNDER you. That's also where they belong. And I mean that in the usual and biblical sense.

while Heber, her husband, was out trading in the marketplace or in the fields planting his wheat. She had to pound those big tent pegs into the ground thousands of times. The Kennite's tents were huge, and they lived in them the same way you live in your home. They were NOT camping. A tent could be fifty feet long and twenty feet wide, and the ropes and tent pegs were huge. The wind would work the tent pegs loose, and they had to be pounded in over and over. The harder the dirt, the better the tent peg would hold.  Are you starting to get the point?

Why yes, I am. She lived a hard life of subservience to misogynistic idiots like you. (He's not talking about Rosie the Riveter, here).

Jael was no skinny little bit of fluff, like the dip heads you see on the covers of Seven-teen! Jael had strong arms. Have you ever seen those pictures of models and Holly-wood starlets? They are skinny little things, and they are too weak to blow their nose.  All they know how to do is cash checks that someone gave them for posing for magazines with not enough clothes on. Shame on those ladies. They are dirty, and you should never want to be like them. 

All models are stupid and dirty. Got it. Wait, Angelina Jolie is skinny, but I've seen her shoot an AK-47, and kick the shit out of a big tough religious zealot. And she does all the work saving children from starvation and homelessness in the region where Jael used to live. Is she still stupid and dirty? And what about the Hollywood starlets who have some muscle and are not skinny? Are they stupid and dirty? What about the models who do the plus size or maternity wear modeling? Are they stupid and dirty?

Girls, you should think about Jael. God wants you to take care of a home,

Once more, how do Christians know about these things that God wants? They can't even agree on His essential nature, which is a contradiction at every turn. What if I say "God told me to go out and get a job so we can feed and clothe our children and pay the electric bill?"

and you should be eagerly getting ready for the home God will one day give you. If you do your work eagerly, you too will become physically strong and spiritually ready to do great things for God.

Yeah like drive tent pegs through the heads of men while they are having a nappy-poo.

Jael used the strength she had. She used the food in her kitchen. She used the tools of battle she had--her mallet and her tent peg. And look how God used her! 

Yes, that's true. God does like to USE people to do His dirty work.

NEVER let any of these feminist scummy wimps belittle you for wanting to keep a home like a good Christian wife and mother. 

Feminist scummy wimps? How about, "Feminism: the radical notion that women are people." (2)

That is a great place to serve God. And, think about this.  What if Jael had been off bowling or selling Tupperware all over town? 

Well, because I don't believe Tupperware or bowling had been invented yet.

She would not have been home. 

Especially if she was off bowling or selling Tupperware all over town.

When Sisera was looking for a tent to hide in, some other lady, who was home where she belonged,

SEE? I told you. Women belong in the home. © 1952.

would have got the blessing of killing this wicked enemy of Israel.

The blessing of killing?

And, what a blessing Jael got!  She had her name put into God's Holy Bible forever!  The Jews will sing about Jael through all eternity. 

Oh! I didn't know you meant the Jews would sing about her! (wait, don't Christians hate Jews for killing Jesus?) And I didn't know she'd end up in a 2000 year old collection of writing by backward misogynistic men from a foreign country! If I'd known that, I would have held that bastard's head down so she could aim properly.

God does not ask you to stay at home and be a faithful wife and mother because you are weak or unqualified.

Unqualified? The only qualification back then was to have a vagina.

You don't have to go out to work some-where outside the home to accomplish a good work for God.

Of course not! You can murder sleeping men right in your very own home. (Hurry. Operators are now standing by).

God made you a girl and a woman, and God has given you the high calling of keeping a home. Men don't do that very well.

Then what's all this stuff I keep hearing about house-husbands and stay-at-home dads?

That is why God likes a real man to have some place to go to work in the morning. 

Yes, Men in the Iron Age loved having that cubicle to go to everyday.

His wife stays home because she is the best qualified to do home keeping. 

Because she has a vagina, and is thus unfit for penis-work.

So, boys--Get ready to defend the righteous without having to have someone hold your hand. Pound the enemy mercilessly,

Like that Gay man or lesbian with the cheek to walk past you on YOUR street.

and be a gentleman to the godly. Learn to use a gun and your fists ONLY for self-defense

But it's okay to use a tent peg, like Jael did, on sleeping people. I'm sure it was self defense.

and to get food for those who depend on you. Don't waste God's creation hunting trophies just to hang on the wall.

No, hunt trophies to hang on GOD'S WALL.

Do NOT learn Karate which is from Buddhism and is pagan.

Um, hello. So is your Christmas tree, Santa Claus, December 25th, gift-giving, mistletoe, Christmas stockings, Christmas dinner, temples. Incense, lamps, candles, wedding rings, Christmas carols, the word "holy" which came from the German, hulis, and meant holly, which was a sacred pagan plant, the Jesus Fish symbol, which was an ancient symbol used by Buddhists and pagans, the symbol of the cross. Altars, vestments, steeples, hymns, prayer posture, and the word, amen. Among other things.

Learn to use the Bible to pound the sodomites 

In other words, kill gay people.

and evil people with the Truth from God.  Ask God to lead you to a girl, for a wife, who LIKES to keep a home.  Don't marry a girl who always talks about "my career."  Don't marry a girl who has been to college, and never get near a girl who has been to seminary.

In other words, don't marry a girl who has a sense of self, recognizes the importance of education and paying her bills, or who learns enough about the Bible to know you're full of crap.

That kind of girl will not take care of your home, she will run all over town playing the fool, and she will some day divorce you if you happen to lose your job. Watch for a girl who obeys her Daddy and likes to work with her Mom when it is time to get chores done.

Translation: find a time machine and travel back to 1945, kidnap a woman and bring her into this century, so she can live like those in 1000 BCE. Better yet, find a time machine, travel back to 1000 BCE, and then DESTROY the time machine.

Girls, practice being feminine and making your parents' friends comfortable in your home.  Ask your Mom to discuss hospitality, and ask Mom to help you to plan ways you can make your home more comfortable for your family and godly friends. Ask God to help you learn to submit to your Daddy

Even if that means your Daddy has peculiar and upsetting ideas about submitting to him. It's okay if he touches you like that, he's a man of God. Creepy.

so that your future husband will be strong for God because you let him be the head of your home. Keep a notebook, and write down all the things your Daddy teaches you in family devotions.

Even that peculiar touching thing?

Also, in your notebook write things your pastor teaches. Please don't even look at a boy who hangs around home all the time, especially the kitchen, and who won't do hard work. He won't defend you, and he won't be any good to the Lord's Church. He is a wimp! 

Yeah because kitchens are for women, who are wimpy anyway, except when they're wielding tent spikes. And a man shouldn't try to learn to cook or help you clean up, and we all know that keeping house and cooking in the kitchen is easy work, that only women can do. I'm sure Emeril Lagasse would beg to differ.

Watch for a boy who has strong opinions about good and evil--a boy who steps right into trouble when someone needs to be defended. There's your man. Pray for him, and ask God and your parents to see if he is your future husband.

Yes, all women need a man who always steps right into trouble.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN TO ME?

Oh don't get me started.

What is in your hands that you can use for Jesus? What do you use every day? 

Like that tenderizing mallet from that kitchen you're always in. Isn't there someone you can bludgeon for Jesus?

If you are a girl, you must have noticed how many public school teachers and other folks try to make women just like men. Did Jael stop being a lady to do this great work for God? Not at all-- she was a lady before and after she nailed that wicked old king to the floor.

Yes, I have a clear image of how ladylike that must have been, what with the blood and brain matter splattering all over the tent, and her face.

Boys, are you whining about your responsibilities? Do you have to have someone hold your hand to get a job done? Ask the Lord to give you zeal for hard work--the harder, the better.

Like breaking rocks in the prison yard for hammering a spike in someone's head for Jesus?

Instead of being like the bad boys in your neighborhood who are always looking for trouble,

Wait. Didn't you just say she should look for a boy who "steps right into trouble?"

YOU go around looking for work. Go to the church house looking for a way to help out.

Not only do we want you to live according to this drivel, we want you to work here too, so you won't stray too far from the fold. The smothering, brainwashing, hateful fold.

Never let a lady do a job you can do for her. Never let a lady open a door if you can beat her to it.

Oh yeah? What if she's a lesbian lady? Should you whip out your tent spike?

…Be tough in your arms and hands, but be gentle in your heart. God likes that attitude.

That much is becoming clear. Even the bad attitudes.

Make a list of the things Jael used from her work as a keeper of a home and in the destruction of the enemy.Ask your Dad or Mom to pray with you that you will always be ready to do anything, great or small, when God gives you a chance. Pray that God's Spirit will keep your hands clean

Yes, wash that blood off those hands on a regular basis.

and busy in good things so that you will be strong for the battle when God calls on you.

Why is there always a battle? I thought Christians were peace-loving?

Pray for your Dad and Mom that God will keep them strong for the battles they fight against Satan every day.

Oh I remember Mom and Dad coming home with blood and brainmatter all over them, the severed fingers of gay people kind of tucked here and there, the smell of brimstone, the horn punctures in their sides. But they were always smiling, Mom and Dad. Good times, good times.

Dad and Mom don't always tell you about all the ugly things they have to take care of

Why not? You did. Jael. In the tent. With a spike.

because some things are pretty nasty.  Your Dad is especially a warrior as he goes to work every day where evil people are playing the fool.

Yeah that damn horny Steven, wearing a red leotard with that pointy tail, at the water cooler. What a fool. 

Pray that he will be strong, and you should have a Bible verse, a word of thanks, or a Christian chorus ready to encourage him when he comes home every day.

Yes, break into a pagan chorus and throw pagan mistletoe at him! He'll like that.

I tune pianos to help our home's expenses, and I have to tune pianos in some homes of Satanists and disgusting people. They have dirty mouths and some of them nag me all the way through the tuning.  I seldom have the blessing of getting into a Christian home. 

Oh please come tune my piano. PLEASE.

So by the end of the day, I am tired in my heart, my head, and my back may be sore to boot. 

You poor thing!! All that tweaking of strings must be back-breaking! Is that the hard labor to which you refer?

When I come home, someone always says, "Thank you for going to work for us today, Daddy."

Someone? You don't know who they are? Maybe it's your wife.

That really lifts me up inside.  When I leave in the morning, someone always says, "The Lord be magnified, Daddy."  What a good way to start the work day.  What can YOU do to be a blessing to your Dad and Mom?

I see you've got the little robots all trained to your liking.

Also, would you pray for your pastor as he serves God? 

That's assuming, of course, that all pastors are serving God.

Ask God to keep him strong with mighty hands in the work of Jesus Christ. 

Killing and spikes and blood, oh my.

Tell him next Sunday morning that you are praying that he will win the war against Satan.

Yeah, that Satan is so powerful that one tiny pastor can win a whole war against him.

Write your pastor's name on a piece of paper, and put it on the mirror in your room so that you will remember to pray for your pastor.

Be strong for God.

Van Nattan's bio on the website reads:

Our Editor in Chief is a former Carpenter

from Nazareth--The Lord Jesus Christ

Asst. to the Editor: Steve Van Nattan

Just a side note, here. Scholars are pretty much agreed that Jesus would not have been a carpenter, but a stonemason. And he could not have been from Nazareth, because Nazareth wasn't THERE during the time of Christ. Just sayin'.

=World traveler - Author   

=No Mail Order PhD :-)  

No, yours is the really damaging kind.

=Approved by only one Fundamental Baptist (I couldn't talk him out of it) 

=Missionary to Ethiopia and Kenya

=Pastor's Training School Headmaster in Kenya 

Yes, let's spread this hateful tripe to other countries, shall we? They don't quite hate us enough.

=Youth camp ministries

=Pastor to four Bible believing churches in the USA

=Piano Tuner

Yeah, you want that piano in tune, so you can sing Onward Christian Soldiers, marching as to war! Loud enough so God can hear it.

=Cabbage farmer

A vegetable often mistaken for this guy's head.

=Master Web Surfer :-)

=Shortwave DX junkie--BBC being tuned in at the right. The radio is a Drake SW-1

Spreading the gospel of hatred on the airwaves.

>Servant to all but slave of Jesus Christ only
Your editor is also a very dangerous Fundamentalist

I'll say he is.
And I thought he was only the Assistant to the Editor? Oh, Right. Fundies often forget they are not GOD.

Let me just say that I believe down to my very marrow that the religious indoctrination of children is the lowest form of child abuse.

----------------------------------------
(1)Finley, Michael (2002). "Note on the Maya Calendar". The Real Maya Prophecies: Astronomy in the Inscriptions and Codices. Maya Astronomy. http://members.shaw.ca/mjfinley/calnote.htm. Retrieved 2010-04-07.
(2)~Cheris Kramarae and Paula Treichler

Jael. In a Tent. With a Spike.